What my grandparents taught me about love
When my grandparents promised to love each other for forever, 60 years ago, they actually meant it.
Maybe it was, because they grew up in a time, where if something was broken, they would fix it, instead of throwing it away or maybe it was just the fact that they were literally made for each other.
They are married for 60 years now. 60 years of unconditional love, 60 years of waking up next to the same face. 60 years of knowing that you will always have somebody in your corner, no matter what is going on in the rest of the world.
Today people are in relationships for five, maybe ten years before they get bored of each other, before they get this intense craving, that there must be something better out there, that they are missing out.
Nowadays we play hard to get, we think we have to wait at least two days before we can text somebody back, because otherwise we would appear ‘needy’. We think falling in love is like a disease, something that makes us weak, so we are trying to hold our breath and run.
Romance these days is considered to be a dinner date and sex after. Maybe waking up the next morning to a cup of coffee, if you are lucky.
This isn’t romance, I know about the real romance, because my grandparents told me about it. They told me stories about how they met, about their first dates, about a time where flowers, love letters and poems where still a thing.
Romance is such a broad word, but if you pay close attention to the stories older people tell you, you will find out, that yes a good romance is indeed something worth dreaming about.
I don’t want to get a text from somebody telling me to meet me at a certain place and time, I want you to pick me up. Get into your car or get a taxi. It takes less than 30 seconds to get out and knock on my door to put the biggest smile on my face. Want to impress me even more? Bring flowers and for crying out loud, dress nicely. I am not talking about a suit-and-tie-kind-of-appearance, but if you think it is acceptable to show up in your sweats, you might consider not even knocking on my door.
Let’s go dancing, shall we? I am not talking about the grinding on each other in the club, I am talking about slow dancing, I mean what happened to that anyway? Because let’s be honest slow dancing, with your significant other, has romance written all over it.
Write me a poem and I don’t care if you come up with it yourself, or if you come across it online, it’s the thought that counts and it will be greatly appreciated. I don’t need you to buy me expensive gifts, that I’ll lose interest in the next day. Give me something, I will remember for a while, something I can read and reread whenever I miss you and crave you in the deepest ways.
This to me is romance. It’s easy. It’s all the small things that people neglect nowadays, because they assume they have no value.
My grandparents taught me differently, because out of all the stories they tell me, listening to their love story is my favorite, one I could listen to for the rest of my life. It is the kind of love, that only exists in fairy tales, or so I thought. Turns out it exists in my grandparents lives as well.
My grandparents went through a lot of tough times, it wasn’t that they had that picture-perfect life. What fascinates me is the way they made it through all of that, simply because they had each other. Simply because they knew, that if one person would break down, the other would be right behind them, to pick them up and help them walk the rest of the way. That’s what love is all about. It’s not about celebrating the good times together, it’s about being there when it gets dark and ugly and all you want to do is run.
Living in a world, where everybody constantly changes partners I can’t even imagine what it is like to be with somebody for 60 years. All I wanted to do was figuring out what kept them together, what was the key to their love and devotion for each other.
At least once a day my grandmother will look at my grandpa, smile and say ‘I am so lucky.’ After 60 years, she still can’t wrap her head around the fact that the love of her life, is sitting right next to her at the breakfast table. She still appreciates every day. She doesn’t take it for granted. Not for a second.
But it is not just my grandma, it is my grandpa as well. He is constantly worried, constantly trying to please my granny. 60 years later, he still helps her putting on her jacket, he still moves her chair a little bit to the right, so she can sit comfortable. 60 years later he still holds the door for her and tells her she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.
Can you blame me, for having so high expectations when it comes to love, when I have my grandparents as role models?
All I know about love, I learned from my grandparents.
They taught me, that love requires sacrifice, taking care of the person you love, even though this means sacrificing some of the things that are important to you.
It means supporting the person you are devoted to, but also letting her be her own person. They taught me, that love is easy, shameless and patient.
Everything I know about love today, my grandparents taught me. I am so lucky to have the most perfect love story right in front of my eyes. I can witness true love every single day and to me that will forever be one of the greatest blessings.
Love doesn’t have to be perfect, it doesn’t even have to be beautiful all the time — but it has to be real.
